The Prologue: In Medias Res

Well, it has been quite a long time since I have posted any of my work. Here is the prologue to the novel that I am writing for my Master’s program. This coming of age story has a little bit of action, which is shown first in the prologue. Please comment on what you think of the beginning of my novel.

She ran. The sores on her feet stained her white shoes with blood. The puddles of freezing rainwater numbed her pain, but only for a moment. There was no time to stop, to rest, or to even think. Her mind was focused on one thing: survival. The street filled with fog, and it disguised the glow of the lamps with a shimmering haze.

As she ran, her ripped dress tripped her and she fell. Her heart raced as she turned back to look at something, relieved for a split second because all she saw was fog. Picking herself up off the ground, she continued running, tearing off parts of the long, ceremonial gown.

Have to get away. They can’t get me as long as I keep running. Just keep running.

The fog slowly dissipated, revealing cozy, little homes separated by dozens of dark alleys. The girl bolted past a few houses before she found an opening littered with piles of garbage. She turned the corner, leaning against the stone wall to catch her breath. Hopefully, she ran far enough to escape it. Once her heart slowed, she picked her way through the rotten food and plastic wrappers, until her body was completely covered.

She crouched there, almost gagging from the stench around her. The moonlight illuminated enough of the street so that she could see the entrance, where her eyes deadlocked on the shadow shuffling past her hiding place. She resolved to stay there until morning when she knew she would be safe from the monster following her in the night.

 

 

11 Comments

Filed under Fiction-Read and React

11 responses to “The Prologue: In Medias Res

  1. Denise

    You’ve been working hard! This great. Love the changes! I think this really keeps up the energy level and hooks you in more at the end. Can’t wait to see what you’ve done with chapter 1 :)

  2. Oooo, you’ve got ME hooked! :)

    • thank you. All comments, criticisms, improvements would be greatly appreciated.

      • I went back and re-read your prologue but couldn’t find anything wrong with it. There were no spelling or grammar errors. The pacing seemed perfect, providing enough suspense that the reader wants to read more. I think you’ve pretty much nailed it! :)

      • Thank you so much Susan! It’s the part of my book I am most attached to at the moment. If I get this part right, then hopefully my audience will stay with me through the rest of it. I’m getting into the good parts of the story so hopefully in the coming weeks with get to the really suspenseful stuff!!!

      • Sounds great! Happy writing! :)

  3. This version is much smoother. :)

  4. Terrific start – I really want to know more! Beginnings are always the hardest for me, so I’m really impressed that you can grab the reader by the throat from the first chapter. :)

    • thank you! It was the scene that first inspired the novel, and although the story has transformed since I first wrote the prologue, I have definitely made sure this is part of my story.

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